Wife, Mother, Pastor


After Mother’s Day Plague- Guilt


Mother’s Day has come and gone. Fresh flowers now wilt, handmade cards are in drawers, and all the ‘honor mommy’ craze has faded. Father’s Day cards are in place for the next round and honoring mothers is now past. However, one thing still plagues: GUILT.

Ahhh yes, guilt. All moms have it. It seems when the first born comes into the world a mom’s mind, will and emotions become the devil’s playground. It’s a constant battle that some moms never overcome.  Our culture may honor moms one day out of the year, but judges the rest of the year.

Guilt over your child eating .99 cent eggs instead of the $3 a dozen free range.  Guilt because the dishes are piling, toys are in the hallway, and toothpaste residue cakes on the bathroom mirror.  Or you don’t have time to make dinner, so it’s pizza night, AGAIN. Guilt because you really don’t like those homemade Mother’s Day gifts from church (I can’t be the only one).  And the famous, “You’re pregnant, AGAIN?!” Need I say more?  Your guilt list is cycling through your brain right now.

What about ministry moms? Being a mom is one thing, but being a ministry mom adds on a whole new element. Guilt because you’re on your laptop, again. Guilt because children are crawling all over you while sermon writing and you’d actually rather write than spend time with them. Guilt because you didn’t have time to make birthday cupcakes for class so you bought them. Guilt because your child isn’t homeschooled- they’re IN school (You were thinking it, I’m just sayin’ it).

I feel blessed that I have this amazing, flexible job where I’m able to be there for my kids and they get to be involved with what I do. On the other hand, much of our family/kid time is interrupted. Crisis phone calls, hospital visits, prayer meetings, the list goes on. Everything’s a trade off. Today I was fortunate to go on my daughter’s field trip. I loved driving her and her 1st grade girlfriends listening to Let it Go from the top of their lungs. But, to do that, I bailed out on a staff meeting. Granted I NEVER miss a staff meeting, but I felt guilty. Tonight after dinner I couldn’t wait to get the kids to bed . . . so I could work! But of course, whenever I have work to do, that’s when daddy’s boy actually wants to spend time with mom. *SIGH*

If you have yet to read the book, Motherhood: The Guilt That Keeps on Giving, do yourself and favor and do it. Julie Barnhill goes into grave detail about the plague of mommy guilt and how to over come it. It comes down to this:
Are you doing what God has called/asked you to do?
Is what you’re doing effecting your child’s salvation?
Are you doing the best with what God has given you?
God has different plans for all of us, and He gave us the kids we have for a reason. It’s all about examining our lives and making sure we are raising our children to love Jesus. The world may only honor you one day a year, and judge you the rest, but God is honoring you everyday for being the mom He’s asked you to be.

“God we are so grateful for this high calling called ‘Mom’. Thank you that you hear and answer our prayers everyday, not just one day a year. Thank you that you’ve also called us to the wonderful world of ministry. Forgive us where we have felt guilt due to the world’s standards and not yours. Help us to be the best wives, mothers and ministers we can be with what you have given us, but also help us to put our families first. Amen”


How do you handle being a Pastor or Woman in Ministry while being ‘mom’?  Comment below, I’d love to hear from you 🙂

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