Wife, Mother, Pastor


Why I Love the Proverbs 31 Woman

house-is-clean-kids-are-fed-all-my-work-is-done-just-kidding-house-is-trashed-pizza-is-ordered-and-work-never-ends--4d4e1[1]I know.  You hate her.  I never heard about women hating Mrs. 31 until I was married with children. Even then I didn’t pay much attention to her until the chapter came up in my devotional time.  You see, at this point in my life I felt so out of place. I was a wife and mom, but I wasn’t like other moms.  I didn’t home-school, I worked, and was going into ministry- not to support a pastor husband, but to be the pastor.  I felt I didn’t fit in with the Christian stereotype of what a woman should be . . . until I read HER.  As I read I felt something totally different than hate; I felt freedom- I hope you do too.

Proverbs 31

15 “She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.”
Does anyone else not see this?  She has SERVANT GIRLS. I want some of those! We feel we’re failing if we don’t keep a perfect house, or that it has to be all US. I have a woman who comes and helps me clean my house once a month.  Just because someone else is helping me doesn’t mean I’m not taking care of my home; that IS me taking care of my home. Remember- she had help. If you don’t, cut yourself some slack.

16 “She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.”
HER earnings.  Not her husband’s, not the bank’s.  She worked.  She put her family first, but she was able to work and contribute financially to the family.  Love it!

21-22 “When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. . . . she is clothed in fine linen and purple.”
There’s this unsaid way of thinking in the ‘mom world’ that you can’t have nice things.  And if you DO have nice things you’re somehow not doing enough for your kids and need to sacrifice more.  Really?  That sounds like terrible parenting to me.  If you put your kids first all the time, you suffer, build resentment and cannot be a good mom.  It’s ok to get a nice haircut, go to a movie with girlfriends, or buy a new outfit (however, white clothes and kids don’t mix well, maybe that’s why she wore purple).

24 “She makes linen garments and sells them . . .”
Again, she works. She’s using her gifting as a business woman to contribute to society. You may not be gifted in business, but you do have giftings.

28 “Her children arise and call her blessed.”
Ok, it’s obvious her kids are like 35 at this point, not 15 . . . At least I like to think that anyway . . .

30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears The Lord is to be praised.”
Not the woman with the clean house, not the woman with organic home cooked meals, the one who fears the Lord!

Am I where God has called me to be? Yes.  Am I doing what He’s asked me to do? Yes.  That’s it!  All I have to do is listen and fear God.  Not fearing the wives, moms, and WIM around me, but God! What a weight off my shoulders!

I don’t believe God put this chapter in Proverbs to condemn or guilt women. I believe He put it in for you to find freedom in who God created you to be as a wife, mother, and Woman in Ministry.


“God, help us to only fear you.  Help us to not be a people pleaser but a God pleaser.  Help me to not be so concerned with the women around me, but to be concerned with the call you have on my life.  Thank you for where you have placed me and may you be glorified through it all!  Amen.”

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Comments (2)

  1. I love this! Thank you so much for sharing your perspective on this passage. I just started working from home and my house has been a disaster. I was feeling particularly bad about it while I was visiting a friends perfectly clean house. Since then I’ve actually had 2 really good friends confide in me that they have a cleaning lady. There really is something so freeing about the idea that I CAN ask for help! Your post is right in line with what God has been showing me. Thanks for the confirmation! 🙂

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