Wife, Mother, Pastor

Keeper of the home

KEEPER OF THE HOME- Not What I Thought

“Home is safe, mom.”

“Our family is fun.  I like spending time together.”

“I love that I can come home from work and our home is a safe haven.  I know I will not be torn down from the mistakes I have made from the day.”

Wow! Powerful words from my family.

“ . . . teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God” Titus 2:2-5

Say what?

For years I looked at this verse as ‘oppressive’.  Really anything biblical pertaining to a woman and the ‘home’ I found oppressive. In our feministic culture I was under the belief that the traditional role of me being the ‘keeper of the home’ meant I had to be strapped to my wash machine. I thought it meant I was not allowed to have a life outside the front door and was to spend my life cooking and sweeping floors- two things I dread by the way.

However, my time as a ministry-mom has taught me something so freeing and spectacular.  My ‘role’ as a wife and mom is incredibly powerful! Traditional isn’t bad or wrong, nor does it look the way I thought.  Yes, there are those women who love to cook and clean and be at home.  I love those women. I wish I could be more like them, but I’m not. And because I was not like them I assumed something was wrong with me.

The last six years I have worked with children who do not have mothers.  Children whose mothers are never home.  I have worked with adults who never had a safe place to grow up and now suffer from emotional instability.  Have you noticed the increase in mental illness in our culture? Most of it is stemming from people’s childhood, and much from absent parents.

I do believe that there is a war on women in this country. Working and stay-at-home moms alike; and it’s not the war the media is telling you.  It is a war against our marriages, our children and our God given gifts.  Satan would love for nothing more than our families to be torn apart, and that is what is happening all around us- all for the sake of ‘freedom.’  Please realize how important you are in the small window you have as a mother to invest into your children.  You have the power to create an environment in your home that is loving, nurturing, and safe.  That alone is more powerful than any ministry career you can obtain.

I’m no expert, but here are a few suggestions on creating a loving environment your family will want to come home to.

TRADITIONS:  Traditions are easy and kids never forget them.  Our family does cinnamon rolls every Saturday.  My friend does hot chocolate for breakfast on the first snow of winter.  Picnics on the living room floor, family slumber parties, Black Friday shopping- the sky’s the limit here!

VACATIONS:  You need to be doing this.  Somewhere that you can remove yourself from church life and just be with your family.  If you need ideas on this click here or here.  I used to feel guilty spending money on a vacation, but they have brought our family so close together that I now plan trips guilt free.

BE AVAILABLE: Gifts and stuff will never replace the emotional attachment that comes from a mom who has made a sacrifice to be there for her children. I understand we cannot do everything, but our kids do come first.  It is so important to be there those first years of child rearing.  I am blessed enough to have a job that I can bring my kids to if needed and most projects get to include my kids.  But I know not all have this.  Go to the games, be willing to stay up late when they have questions, do bedtime devotions and prayers, snuggle.  Just be there. If this means sacrificing parts of your career, so be it.  Do we trust God enough to pave the way for us when our kids are older?

WORDS:  Words that build up your family, not tear them down.  Words that say, “Please forgive me,” as well as forgiving their mess ups.  Words that speak highly of your husband in front of the whole family.  Words that bring laughter and mend broken hearts.


Notice none of these suggestions to be the ‘keeper of your home’ called you to be a slave.  It just means that our home is a place the family wants to be.  It’s a place that is fun and safe.  It is a place where my kids can come and ask my husband and I anything and know they will get straight answers and not be shamed.   What a POWERFUL gift to give children growing up!  If all this means I have to sacrifice parts of a career in order to have future, healthy adults, so be it.



“Lord, thank you for the gift of being the keeper of my home.  I thank you that it doesn’t mean that I have to be ‘trapped’ in it.  Thank you that you have given me a life outside of it, but I’m thankful for the superpower of creating a home that will raise future, healthy adults. Show me how I can best do this and to glorify you in the process.  In Jesus Name, AMEN.”

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