Wife, Mother, Pastor


“God, Why Did You Choose Me?”

image“God, why did you choose me for this?”  I often wonder in my current position (as I’m sure you do too).
I struggle with feeling inadequate as I navigate through ministry. I’m often criticized for not doing things a certain way (sometimes rightfully so).  I wonder why I feel God using me to go a different direction than the norm. I look at certain tasks that need to be done and wonder why didn’t God put ‘Spiritual Susie’ here, ‘Wisdom Wendy’ or ‘Gifted Gail’.  I look at these women and see that they are way more qualified than myself.  They’re more equipped, have more experience, and for crying out loud- they LOVE the area that I’m struggling so hard in so why aren’t they here when they’re so gifted???

I don’t know.  I don’t have all the answers, but here is my theory:

  •  He does it to keep us humble.  If I had all the answers my ego would get inflated, but when I don’t know what I’m doing half the time I can’t get full of myself. Pride comes before the fall.
  •  Reliance on Him.  I hate this.  Really; if someone struggles with children why did God place them as the Kid’s Pastor?  Why does He put people who are not Mercy motivated over benevolence? My only guess is that sometimes He wants to change us for the better and the only way we can do that is to rely on Him.
  •  To teach us more about His heart.  I’m learning in ministry more and more about God’s heart.  People that maybe I’ve looked down upon (or still do) are precious to Him.  Jesus died for them too. We are to love “the least of these” whether we like it or not. I would never know these things if it weren’t for where I am.
  •  He’s giving others a chance to minister and mentor you.  No, He doesn’t always call people completely out of their comfort zone to do a task, but when He does He brings others who do have the experience or wisdom you may need to learn from.  Thus, giving them a chance to minister to you.

I started this blog a year ago not because I have wisdom and experience to thrust upon women behind me.  No.  I’m a young, inexperienced minister and I started this blog to grow with and experience ministry along side you.  I don’t know what I’m doing half the time, and I’m sure you may feel the same but rest assured that God is walking along side you.

“God, I’m struggling.  I’m struggling because at times I’m  inadequate, inexperienced and do not have the wisdom as my older counterparts.  But I’m resting on knowing you are changing me to be more like you. Help me to be moldable and teachable. Thank you Lord. Amen”

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